The Serby Mock 5.0 (the editors refused my repeated pleas to run it on Friday) would like to give a special thanks to Kyle Shanahan for making every mocker’s life miserable.
The entire first round this time, and for the fifth consecutive time, the Jets get Zach Wilson, followed this time by a talented cornerback, while the Giants get Joe Judge and Patrick Graham a pass rusher.
No trades once again.
The envelope please:
No one is more excited than Urban Meyer — or my nephew, Justin Baldinger, their new director of corporate partnerships.
If you’re Joe Douglas, BYU Gotta Believe, right?
After further review, Shanahan opts for the massive dual threat upside.
4. Atlanta Falcons: Kyle Pitts (TE, Florida)
GM Terry Fontenot gets coach Arthur Smith and Matt Ryan the uncoverable matchup nightmare unicorn.
5. Cincinnati Bengals: Ja’Marr Chase (WR, LSU)
How can they pass on Penei Sewell? Only because Joe Burrow can pass again to his elite college Go-To Guy and, fingers crossed, right tackle Riley Reiff can keep the franchise quarterback from getting his knee wrecked again.
6. Miami Dolphins: Penei Sewell (OT, Oregon)
Ereck Flowers was traded to Washington, Robert Hunt moves inside and here’s Tua Tagovailoa’s new bookend for Austin Jackson.
7. Detroit Lions: Micah Parsons (LB, Penn State)
The kneecap-biter at a position of need for Dan Campbell, no change from Mock 4.0.
8. Carolina Panthers: Justin Fields (QB, Ohio State)
Owner David Tepper won’t care about hurting Sam Darnold’s feelings.
Big-ticket signing Ja’Wuan James made three starts at right tackle in 2019 and opted out in 2020. How can Vic Fangio trust him? No need to go QB following trade for Teddy Bridgewater.
10. Dallas Cowboys: Patrick Surtain II (CB, Alabama)
A Crimson Tide reunion opposite Trevon Diggs to help with Kenny Golladay in the division.
Leonard Williams needs more help rushing the passer, and former GM and Dave Gettleman crony Ernie Accorsi always subscribed to the You Draft Pass Rushers ‘Til The Cows Come Home theory. The Eagles were hot for him…Paye, not Gettleman.
12. Philadelphia Eagles: Jaylen Waddle (WR, Alabama)
Best Available Jaylen. Jalen Hurts can use an electric weapon to pair with WR Jalen Reagor, last year’s first-round pick.
13. Los Angeles Chargers: Jaycee Horn (CB, South Carolina)
They’ll get the left tackle for Justin Herbert with the 47th pick, and remember, they play Patrick Mahomes twice.
14. Minnesota Vikings: Alijah Vera-Tucker (OT/G, USC)
A safe plug-and-play inside or outside to clear a path for Dalvin Cook.
15. New England Patriots: DeVonta Smith (WR, Alabama)
The Hoodie has all the intel from Nick Saban, and adds the Heisman winner even after signing Nelson Agholor and Kendrick Bourne. Will Dollar Bill trade up for a QB or is a reunion with Jimmy Garoppolo imminent?
16. Arizona Cardinals: Zaven Collins (LB, Tulsa)
A 6-4, 260-pounder likened to a young Brian Urlacher to roam alongside Isaiah Simmons and behind JJ Watt.
17. Las Vegas Raiders: Jamin Davis (LB, Kentucky)
A 6-3, 234-pounder with 4.47 speed and a 42-inch vertical fills a need for Jon Gruden and Mike Mayock.
18. Miami Dolphins: Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah (LB, Notre Dame)
Is he a linebacker or a safety? Brian Flores doesn’t care. He’s a fearless football player with instincts.
19. Washington Football Team: Mac Jones (QB, Alabama)
Ron Rivera can afford to let him sit behind Ryan Fitzpatrick for a while.
20. Chicago Bears: Christian Darrisaw (T, Virginia Tech)
He can step in at right tackle and replace Charles Leno as the left tackle of the future.
21. Indianapolis Colts: Azeez Ojulari (OLB, Georgia)
Justin Houston is a free agent and he’s 32, although GM Chris Ballard needs a left tackle to replace retired Anthony Castonzo in front of Carson Wentz.
22. Tennessee Titans: Teven Jenkins (T, Oklahoma State)
A nasty mauler to replace 2020 first-round bust Isaiah Wilson on the right side won’t make it easier on defenders against Derrick Henry.
23. New York Jets: Greg Newsome (CB, Northwestern)
A 6-1, 190-pounder with 4.38 speed fills a glaring need.
24. Pittsburgh Steelers: Najee Harris (RB, Alabama)
James Conner is in Arizona, and Big Ben cannot be asked to throw 608 passes anymore.
25. Jacksonville Jaguars: Jaelan Phillips (DE, Miami)
If anyone has the job security to roll the dice on the draft’s best pass rusher with a concussion history, it’s Meyer.
26. Cleveland Browns: Kadarius Toney (WR, Florida)
A slot receiver with 4.39 speed gives Baker Mayfield a UFO once Odell Beckham Jr. and Jarvis Landry are gone.
27. Baltimore Ravens: Rashod Bateman (WR, Minnesota)
Lamar Jackson needs a big receiver with 4.43 speed.
28. New Orleans Saints: Elijah Moore (WR, Ole Miss)
Tell me how Sean Payton can resist the temptation of a new toy with 4.32 speed for Jameis Winston and Taysom Hill.
29. Green Bay Packers: Tyson Campbell (CB, Georgia)
Kevin King isn’t the long-term answer opposite Jaire Alexander.
30. Buffalo Bills: Travis Etienne (RB, Clemson)
GM Brandon Beane adding Alvin Kamara Lite to Josh Allen’s arsenal will keep defensive coordinators up at night.
31. Baltimore Ravens: Jayson Oweh (EDGE, Penn State)
A size-speed specimen to replace Matthew Judon, and for Wink Martindale to develop quickly.
32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Christian Barmore (DT, Alabama)
Ndamukong Suh and Steve McLendon are long in the tooth.